Michael Jai Grant
1 min readFeb 17, 2023

Dear Addie,

Your shoes are fantastic, my friend!! :)

Yes, adult friendships are TOUGH, and I'm not sure if it's better or worse when you're already coupled. Hubby and I have been together 28 years and we moved to a new town and put ourselves out there on NextDoor: Are there any other gay couples around here who wanna socialize?

We got some invites which led to some new circles, and one overlapped with a very old circle that reignited. Before the pandemic we thought we were building some valid friendships, but now it's like chopping wood with a straw to get people together and maintain anything that feels real. A few openly abandoned us for no spoken reason, which was bewildering and hurtful and lays a film of distrust on future possibilities.

My husband threw me an incredible birthday party last summer for my 50th with over 50 people in attendance. There have been a small handful of reciprocal invites since, maybe three or four? In eight months? Ouch.

I think the only way to make new friends is to do creative projects, like making a movie or a play. Stress and creativity are bonding. Or maybe... tennis anyone? Anyone? Sigh.